Do
your children believe in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy?
And how's that going for you? Most of us grew up believing in such fantasies,
and we would probably say that we turned out fine, and that is probably true as
well. There have been many articles written about these holiday icons, and
whether is wrong to not be completely truthful to your kids, or whether it is just harmless childhood
fun....sorry, but this is not one of those articles. My purpose is to give you
a different perspective to
consider...what is the effect of these traditions? I propose that the result is
that our kids learn a sense of entitlement. What flabbergasted parent has not on
Christmas morning heard something along the lines of: "Is that all the
presents?!" or, "This is not what I wanted!" or "Not fair!
Johnny got a (fill in the blank with this year's overpriced completely useless popular toy) and I didn't!" Then
every year the expectations are raised even higher, which is impossible to keep
up.
Let's
just focus on the Tooth Fairy for the sake of argument. One year I actually received a note from one
of my children saying, "Dear Thooth Fairy, I can't wait to see what you
are going to give me. Thank you for giving me the mony and candy. I hope this time you wold leve me a toy to go
with the candy and mony. Love, (name of guilty child here.) P.S.
I hope you give me a toy." (Actual transcript of note.) Apparently the money and candy were not
enough. One friend told me that her daughter said, "But I wanted a crisp,
new $20 bill!" Very endearing, indeed.
All
right, enough of the negatives. What I really wanted to share with you is the
wonderful fruit of going a different route. With seven kids, fairly spread out,
we have learned a lot over the years, and are constantly changing the way we do
things. One of these was that we'd always tell the truth to the kids, because we wanted them to believe us when we taught them about
God (oops, sorry--that's a whole other post.) At first , we were afraid that the
younger kids would be deprived of all the fun that the older ones had gotten,
but we went ahead with what we believed to be right. I would now like to share
with you the results in one child, and in regards to the Tooth Fairy
specifically.
My
four-year-old was quite saddened by all the older kids receiving special treats
from the Tooth Fairy under their pillow, and none for him. Having to wait two
years for any possibility of this special visit was almost too much for him to
take. Well, one day he knocked a heavy patio stone on his toe. It was very
painful; the nail turned purple, and eventually fell off. I told him that maybe
the "Toenail Fairy" would come if he put his toenail under his
pillow. Eagerly he did so, and woke up to a wonderful surprise. When he asked
if there really was a "Toe Fairy," we told him that no, it was just
his mom. Well, his eyes lit up as he got a brilliant idea...the next morning, I had a treat under my pillow! Oh, was he excited to be the cause of such a
surprise. Soon he was surprising other members of the family with treats under their pillows as well! Oh, the pure joy
those secret acts of giving gave him! He was learning how to give joyfully to
others without thinking only of himself! What a blessing, and great gift that
has been to him! Now, we just never know who will be the recipient of a secret
gift from that sneaky fairy in the night.. ..and there's never any doubt as to
who that fairy is...it's the one who is grinning from ear to ear!
So, don't deprive your child of
the joy of giving to others, especially in secret. Consider letting them know
that the gifts they receive at Christmas, Easter, and Tooth Fairy time are from
you, because you love them, and it gives you joy. Encourage giving, especially in secret, all year long. It just may stop the
miserable, selfish feeling of entitlement in its tracks, and replace it with
joy.
