Monday, April 30, 2012

Modesty: A Guy's Opinion (Part 1)

After many debates with peers on the controversial subject of modesty, my son decided that a series on modesty from a guy's perspective was long overdue. I've  included this preview from his first post here. Please read and share!

(Part 1 of 3)

Part 1: What’s wrong with Modesty?

What’s the deal with Modesty?

It doesn’t take a genius to realize that women are wearing less clothing than ever in our Western society. Is this good or bad? Is it freeing women and improving society? Or is it having the opposite effect?

First off, what is modesty? It has become a “buzz” word today in our culture. “Modesty” has become synonymous with oppression, unattractiveness, judging, Legalism, and a host of other unpleasant words and ideas. But what does modesty really mean? Here are a couple definitions.

1. the quality of being modest;  freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.

2. regard for decency of behavior, speech, dress, etc.

Just looking at those definitions, they look really good! Who wouldn’t say that a person should be free from vanity and boastfulness, and that a person should act decently in behavior, speech, and dress? No one would refute that those are good qualities to have, right?  So then why are so many men and women advocating immodest dress?

Could it be that there is some benefit to wearing immodest clothing that we are not seeing? Or are there problems with modesty that go beyond the definition? What’s wrong with modesty?

One thing I hear often is that dressing modestly isn’t comfortable. For example, one girl (girl A) has told me, “I've always hated skirts and dresses as a child, because being forced into them so often, and I feel bad for girls that dress like Muslims because of it - though, I have met girls that prefer it. It depends on your mind set - wear what you feel comfy in!”

I don’t know what gave her the impression that a girl has to dress like a Muslim to be modest, but does she have a point? Should comfort be the number one factor in what we wear?

That’s a very relative statement. What’s comfortable for one person may not be for another. What if someone feels most comfortable going naked? Should they because it’s comfortable? I think almost everyone would agree absolutely not. Why? Because it’s not respectful to others. 

I very much dislike waiting in long lines. It’s very uncomfortable. Should I just start cutting to the front of lines from now on? No, because that’s not respectful to all the other people waiting in line. I have to sacrifice my comfort to respect others. Can you imagine if everyone just ran around looking out for their own comfort, disregarding others? A frightening thought, don’t you think?

So if our comfort will slight other people, then we should forgo it in consideration of others. But is dressing modestly so uncomfortable? What’s so uncomfortable about skirts? I’ve never worn one, so I can’t say, however, my two younger sisters say skirts are much more comfortable than pants. I have a guy friend who won’t even wear jeans because he says they’re uncomfortable. So I don’t think anyone can say skin-tight jeans are more comfortable than skirts. Now, I know a girl who has said that she only wears cleavage exposing shirts because anything higher is uncomfortable. *blink* Really? I almost exclusively wear crew neck shirts, and they are not uncomfortable at all. I think V-necks are actually less-comfortable. But I’m not a girl, so what do I know?...(read the rest here*)



  1. This was incredible! I'm sure you're a proud Mama! I've shared his post on my facebook page with others. Came over from the Modest Mom Link Up.

  2. Thanks so much for visiting, Kelli, and especially for sharing!

  3. This is a very in depth look at modesty- and it's neat that this is a guys perspective (something we lack at times when pondering modesty). Lots to chew on here! Thank you so much for linking up to Workin' It Mondays!

    Nicole at Working Kansas Homemaker

  4. wonderful post! Thank you so much for submitting it to Feminine Friday!

  5. It's great to get a guys perspective on modesty. I agree completely with everything he said too. I get uncomfortable around women that are showing too much cleavage, if my eyes are looking down, I can only imagine that a guys are too!!

  6. Great preview! Can't wait to read the rest. Thanks!! Blessings, Miranda

  7. Paula...your son really made some good points about modesty. Truly should comfort determine our dress code? I look forward to reading the rest. Thank you for sharing this at WJIM and I'm your recent follower. :o)

  8. Speaking on the comfort point, my mother and sisters are all curvaceous women. Even at my thinnest (size 4) my thighs rub together when wearing skirts. It is exceedingly uncomfortable, especially at the end of a long day, and little blisters have started to form where the legs rub. So, I am sure skirts are wonderful for women without this problem, but for me, they are not.
    Just my two cents